San Francisco: The Rub

The smell of you is revolting
The decay of flesh breaking away
From the humanity
Being reborn here
In the hills
In the urine strained streets
Burbling hobo techno homo sexual suction action
Getting traction on the clickety clack
Boardwalks through to downtown

This fight we have together
Is slipping towards surreal in the sense
Of predetermination
Just like the irony I find in you
Being so magical and profoundly hopeless
Is edible
And now I must
Withdraw my position
Regarding your destruction

So this mission, right,
It’s a vision, but that’s only part of its thing
It’s a way to release some piece of inside
Like built-up blood that’s important for beating
But detracts from your breathing
Until you’re screaming and soaking and floating
And bleeding in tubes hung loosely inside you
The rub is
All tangled around you
It surrounds binds and chokes you
Until you’re due to explode

So that’s the thing then
That’s why I came here
To explode and expand and become
Bigger than everything
It’s a bigness that is important for growth
But even more so
For destroying all hope

And you are not fair
Beyond even the sense
That it’s impossible to be so
You are not even nice
But I embrace you and wipe the dirt from my lips
For there is niceness in coldness
Not previously known as
And while the dirt glitters I sniff it
And threaten the rub
But the stiffness is deafening
And strangling what’s hanging over the edges
Of you

So it must be like this
It seems
It must be like this
You must
Try to destroy me
And I must
And love you
Until I’m ready
For the rub

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