Author Archives: Cadbury Fife

34: The presumably depraved monster-gentleman

As Phaorette came to the table, Mons Gullet, the presumably depraved monster-gentleman, also approached from another angle. Cadbury Fife stood as the two approached, then, as they reached the table, he stepped backwards in a reverse-bow motion. Gullet: [Taking Cadbury’s … Continue reading

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33: A hard demonic presence in between layers of silken skin and cloth

The pier at Longing Lake was an extended, narrow construction of rickety wood leading out to a wide, round, raised plateau. Phaorette Muhajerin approached the pier with some trepidation. Walking wasn’t especially her thing, and this pier looked like it … Continue reading

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32: Ego bubbles, designed to give you boners of the head

Cadbury sits on the private balcony of Cadbury’s Detective Agency, alone. A beautiful, yet somehow disturbing sight. Cadbury: People are toxic to the human condition. He raised a glass of GJ and swooshed it. Cadbury: This is an idea that is only … Continue reading

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31: Sorry for moving quickly, people, but there’s no time for this

Jeb Smithikins: This whiskey is too wet! Cadbury: Jeb makes a good point, but he’s pointing at it the wrong way. Cadbury was in a position that was precisely halfway between standing and sitting. It may have seemed strange except … Continue reading

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Just Settle For Nothing

Something is just nothing in transition, So just settle for nothing, For God’s sake man, Just settle, Nothing is quite as good as anything, What’s your dysfunction seeking something? It’s really a distasteful waste of time, Such a sordid, sorry … Continue reading

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30: The problem with Modern, Historic, and Ancient Detectives

Cadbury: In any case, let me now give a grand speech on The Case Of The Missing Self. A mild rustling around the table indicated a modest increase in the general level of attention being paid. Cadbury: The problem with … Continue reading

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I Am In Command Of This Day

It is 7AM, The alarm goes off like a shot, And I explode out of bed, Across the room, And turn the noise off with a button. I am in command of this day. My alarm has no snooze function, … Continue reading

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it’s not necessarily going to get better

hey, i see you’re down, and that’s a downer, in and of itself, in fact it’s making me sad, and i wish it would stop, but i’m not terribly sure that it will, i feel so horrible and really i … Continue reading

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The Search For Ghosts In The Heavy Ant Collider

I awoke laughing, as  I usually do, but this time because a most peculiar thought had occurred to me as I emerged from a dream about ghosts, the regular kind, this idea strutted into my brain like the walking dead … Continue reading

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29: Pulling wet, wriggling desires from the depths

Cadbury: So we hear that Ted Fudd is a Fisherman. The Detection Party had reached its mellow spot. People were seated at their tables, eating, clinking things, shuffling napkins and shuffling other more obtuse items that had been tirelessly laid … Continue reading

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